Context: wrote this to my ex on ... after finding out he'd left me, again, for someone else.
All I know is that I cried for hours and hours tonight because I felt like history was repeating itself , as if I had lost control, as if I was being totally fucked with again because you fucked me last week knowing that in just a week's time you'd be fucking her.
And so these crazy e-mails I sent you today and all of the phone calls are an isolated, unfortunate incident. I will put last week in the past and all of this in the past. I will promise to hold no expectations for the future. I think we were in a confusing place last Thursday where I guess you didn't know what to say, and now, even though there has been this drama, whatever the future holds for us--even if it's just friendship-- at least it is clear that there needs to be honesty.
I hope your weekend brings you some clarity. I love you as much as I love my family. This does not have to be a romantic love. At this point, it is not romantic love. It's just love, the kind of love that makes you one of the few people who can really hurt me.
And so, with all of my platonic love, I apologize for disrupting your sleep and for sending you so many e-mails in one day.
m
